There is no Magic without Motion.

Apologies I don't know the source pf this picture

It is the actions we take, the small steps that we make towards the things we want to create in our lives that make the difference.


I wish I could dance like this but it is not going to happen because I am not prepared to take the steps required to create this dance magic.


The question is where do you want to create magic in your life and what actions are you willing to take?


I love travelling, seeing interesting things and meeting new people. I have no trouble planning my trips. Researching the country I am visiting. Talking to people who have traveled to this destination before. I learn from their experiences, places to stay, things to see and how to make the most from this journey. I set aside time because I am investing a lot in having the best holiday possible. People love to help, they want me to have a great time as well and they are delighted to share and support my journey. This is true in life as well. When I apply this strategy to other things in my life magic happens. 


What strategies could you apply to create magic in other areas of your life. 

The Meaning of Communication is the Response that it gets.

Have you ever had a conversation and walked away thinking well that was a waste of time, they just don't get it! 


The realisation that the success of my communication could be measured by the response that I got was both daunting and empowering.
Daunting because I thought I was a really good communicator, a good listener and it is so much easier to blame the other person. Can't they see reason....Why can't they see my point of view?... Every time I received a negative response, I would walk away frustrated, angry or just plain bewildered. How did we end up there? 


We all know that communication is more than the words we speak. 
The often quoted statistics based on the research of Albert Mehrabian are:
7% of meaning in the words that are spoken.
38% of meaning is paralinguistic (the way that the words are said).Tone, pitch, rhythm
55% of meaning is in facial expression, body language

So if you are not getting the response that you want from a communication what can you do?

This is the empowering piece. As we know we can't change anyone else but we can change the way we communicate. 
This requires reflection. 


These are some of the questions I ask myself.

What outcome do I want? Clarity is important.

What are the facts?

What are my emotions around this discussion? What am I saying to myself. Self talk has a way of showing up.

So although you might be saying one thing, what you really think is also being heard, seen or felt. 

Am I open to listening to another point of view.

How am I going to keep on track and obtain an acceptable outcome for all parties?

Poor communication is at the heart of most arguments,disagreements and bad feelings. 

There are some great books " Crucial Conversation Tools for talking when the stakes are high" Patterson et al

"Fierce Conversations" Susan Scott 

NLP has focused my attention on how I communicate. what is working and where and when I need to try out a new strategy.
I now understand that communication is the response that I  get and this is useful to me.

The Power of Words

I love this picture (my apologies I am not sure of its origin).

It is a powerful reminder for me of the words we think, write and say each day to ourselves and others. 

The YouTube video on the power of words illustrates this far more powerfully than my words. Take a few minutes to have a look.

http://youtu.be/Wgi0t2ap-us

Let us know what you think.

Modelling Success

It is said that modeling is one of the powerful success technique you can leverage. We all know people that we admire, people that we wish we were more like. I think this is a great strategy.     


However, I think it is really important to know your own strengths first. 
To recognise what are the inner resources that you have that make you feel strong, competent, enthusiastic and at your best. Then to incorporate or experiment with their successful strategies of those you admire; their skills, beliefs, attitudes and values. 


More significant for me, is the importance  of knowing your beliefs, attitudes and values. Which one's are working for you and which do you need to change. Then look at someone you admire and observe what it is that they do to achieve the results that you would like.


I would like to be more courageous. 
I don't want to scale Mt. Kilimanjaro, although I admire people who do. I want to be courageous in trying out new challenges. Speaking out for things that matter to me. Being the best I can be as a mother, a friend, a human being. 


I can model aspects of Nelson Mandela, a sister at the Sisters of Charity Orphanage in Pondicherry and Melinda Gates, my girlfriend who has battled cancer and many others. It is knowing what others do to find their inner strength and practicing it and adding it to my own resources.


I would love to hear how this has worked for you. 

“Success means doing the best we can with what we have. Success is the doing, not the getting; in the trying, not the triumph. Success is a personal standard, reaching for the highest that is in us, becoming all that we can be.” Zig Ziglar

Thinking and Doing

The mind is everything. What you think you become.

Buddha

Some experts say we have up to 60,000 thoughts per day. Many of those thoughts are the same as those  we had yesterday, last month, last year..... Many of our thoughts are deeply ingrained in our subconscious and reinforced over time.

I have found NLP valuable in unlocking some of those unconscious barriers, allowing me to decide how useful those beliefs are to who I am now and who I wish to become.

Changing your thinking is not easy. It is like physical fitness it takes practice. 
Focus on what you want and create a plan to get the results you desire. The clearer you are about your intended outcome, the clearer your goals and actions will be. We will only soar when we believe we can.  

"By thinking differently, you will behave differently, and get different results." p4

• How have you changed you thinking?
• Where is this working for you?
• What have you tried?

I loved to hear your thoughts and feedback.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson put it:     “Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny. “

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” -Maria Robinson

I am not NLP expert, however I am always looking for techniques, tools and strategies to help navigate the wonderful world of change. 


Reading NLP in 21 days provided me with some really interesting information. I read the book skipping the exercises at the end of each chapter, promising I would go back later and when I had a better understanding. 
Like so many books I have read previously I was too impatient to get the information to do the hard work or take the time to reflect on what I was learning. 


This book really became useful to me when I applied  what I was learning to my own life. I have worked my way through the questions and I go back every few days and refocus and decide what I will do over the next few days to move towards reaching my outcome. What can I do immediately? is a question I found really helpful in moving me into action.


If you are struggling completing the "Today's To Do's" at the end of each chapter, persevere it is well worth the effort. 
There are thousands of books written about NLP. We choose this one because it presents complex concepts in a simple way, with practical ideas for incorporating it in your own life.


Please post your thoughts and comments. 
I am looking forward to hearing what you have to say.
Cheers Melinda 

 "Most of us are patterned to think of change as loss." Gurmukh

Book Club with a Twist

The inspiration for this book club came from a desire to bring people together, to discuss and share books that seek to make a difference to people's lives. 
The books that explore different ways of thinking. 
Books for the curious that look at diverse perspectives. 


Most importantly books that challenge you to take action and inspire you to expand your potential.

NLP in 21 Days is our first book to explore.

NLP is about modelling excellence expanding your awareness and understanding of ourselves and others. What a wonderful place to start!


We look forward to your thoughts, comments and experiences.